To make me even more evil, much of my career was involved with synthesis and supply of chemicals used for flavours (sorry, “flavouring substances” to use the legal term, which is so much nicer and doesn’t use the c-word) and to a lesser extent fragrances. I used to say I personally carried out animal tests and dropped our products into rabbit’s eyeballs – it was easier than trying to explain what I actually did.

I was trying to adopt the position of maximum charity (really fucking difficult for me) and avoid very satisfying and funny ad homs – but given I studied biotech that automatically makes me a shill for Monsanto. I’m a really shit shill, tho, they’ve never paid me a penny…