But What About the Teutonic Chicano Squirrels?
This is where the Internet really is the gift that just keeps on giving. The ability for readers to comment on articles such as Mr Winter’s. The Victorians had their freakshows and visits to asylums to laugh at the inmates, we have readers’ comments appended to online news stories. And they are pretty much all bat-shit crazy.
I’ll leave the big, shouty caps and typos intact in this comment to Mr Winter’s article:
EVERY YEAR ABOUT THE SAME TIME THE SCIENTISTS DO IT AGAIN. . DISTROYING EVERYTHING.
…as evidenced by the fact that everything is still pretty much here. And why this time of the year? It’s a bit late for the summer solstice so perhaps this is Eid-related? Or it could be that this is the time of year the commenter’s pharmacist goes on holiday and she runs out of the antipsychotic medications she so clearly needs?
SO THEY WILL HAVE TO BUY FROM EUROPE.
Buy what? The antipsychotics again?
THEY WILL NEVER GIVE UP TILL ALL ANIMALS ARE GONE. SO WAKE UP OUR PEOPLE. IT IS HAPPENING. .
Ahhh! It is Eid – the festival of slaughter! I didn’t realise all scientists are supposed to be Muslim. Perhaps that’s why the Nobel has eluded me. I need to convert.
THEY STARTED ON THE SQUIRRELS A FEW WEEKS BACK,
Now we get to the truth!!!
I am concerned that the commenter ended hanging on a comma and can only assume either she was typing when the squirrel-borne encephalitis hit, the ‘SCIENTISTS’ finally got to her or the crayon held between her toes in the rubber room fell out.
Except the the SCIENTISTS haven’t started on the squirrels, quite the opposite: the rats in slightly cuter costumes have started on us, actually.
There is a novel Bornavirus knocking about in Germany right now that is killing breeders of exotic squirrels. And I had no idea there was a market for ‘exotic’ squirrels or that it has its epicenter in Germany. But there is a new Bornavirus being spread by exotic Mexican squirrels, bred in Germany, and it kills by causing encephalitis (brain rot). It’s out there, Sheeple! Euwww!
And the advice from the experts is clear and unequivocal: you should not allow squirrels to lick, bite or scratch you.
Well, that’s my weekend fucked, then…